You’re bag’s been lost, oh deary me, now that’s an awful shame,
You say that it was with you sir, when you got aboard the ‘plane,
Before we go much further sir, let’s get some details down,
Now, what’s the style and size sir, and was it black or brown,
Was it made of plastic sir, oh, pardon me it’s hide<em<,
And without being rude, sir, what was packed inside,
Er…where did you depart sir, oh, you just came in from Rome,
The chances are, your bag sir, has gone on to Cologne,
You've gone a funny colour sir, I think you're going to choke,
Please don't get excited sir, it's just my little joke,
Please don't be offensive sir, I'm trying to do my best,
And you bellowing and shouting, sir, will only get you stressed,
Go up to the restaurant, sir, and have a cup of tea,
I'm sure I'll work much better, sir, if you leave it all to me,
It's no use complaining to me sir,I'm just working hard,
If you really want to moan sir, then please fill in this card,
I have just one last question, sir, and I know it's rude to pry,
But if you can't take a joke, sir, why the blazes did you fly?

Written 28/09/1989